Where most hide sadness underneath a happiness facade, Ariha hid happiness under sadness and isolation. Her whole life she was alone, and over the years, she had found comfort in the tendrils of solitude and would subconsciously push everything and everyone aside.
To be happy was to be alone.
Looking around her room, it suddenly felt huge, the room itself almost swallowing her whole and she was a mere fleck of dust lying on the floor, waiting for someone to sweep her under the carpet to be forgotten. But with recent events in mind, that fleck grew into something that couldn't be ignored nor was it no longer alone. She found herself standing in a sea full of people who call her friend, ally, family, and maybe even a teacher, and she had no idea how she got there - suffocating in the pressure to be the person they think they know she is versus the person she keeps hidden. There was still a lot about her that only a few knew about, but there was a few that were getting dangerously close to that barrier she had put up long ago. For behind that barrier was still a scared innocent little girl who had yet learned the way of the world, hiding from all of the darkness and pain, but unable to hide from being alone. However, being alone wasn't so bad for her, and she found comfort in it as that was all that she knew growing up, even her childhood friend eventually abandoning her and becoming someone unrecognizable. Not even a shred of her old life in Anhk was the same as the civil war last year tore the city to shreds, with it her childhood 'home', an old abandoned bookstore, and her father who was never a real father to her in her entire life. But when asked if it happened, most will deny that it even happened in the first place, giving her a look of confusion and disbelief. They will never know how much that war changed her life permanently.
Now standing within a room in the keep of the royalty of Helms Deep, she couldn't help her mind from wondering how she had managed to get there as well, and why the King had thought she was a good fit to rule in the event of his death. Over the years, she had fought alongside the members of the Red Keep, but whenever it was her turn to lead, she always felt that she had failed. Failed the soldiers, failed the King, failed Marcus, failed Mitra, and failed herself - yet, they praised her and gave her the title of an heiress. One day, hopefully in the far future, she might have to step up, place a crown upon her brow, and not fail, for everyone would be expecting her to and she would have to prove them wrong. Nothing made sense in her life anymore - the life of a street mouse seeming easier than of an heiress and finally understood why Dren or Synarion or Enki now, ran away from his glamorous life his parents brought him up in to spend time with her in the streets. They had grown close as friends, but time changes all and now she hadn't seen the version she knew of him in four years.
Sighing, she shook her head from the past and tried to remember why she had gone to her room in the first place.
"Ah, that's right, I came in here to prepare for my journey." She said to herself, glancing at the letter from Mathuin still sitting on the desk, the map to where she was going underneath it. By the looks on the map, her trek will be longer than she had initially anticipated, despite her injury still healing, she'll be not slowing down. Harsh weather lay in the direction she was going which meant layers for herself and for her horse, Maximus. "Mitra, please hold back the weather for a couple of days..." Sighing, she began the preparations.
